February 21, 2008 (2)

“I really fucked up, Jay! I don’t know what the fuck to do. Shit, what do I do, man?” Patrick raked a hand roughly through his thick curly hair and took in a deep, shaky breathe, the hand holding his cell phone to his ear trembling. He rested his head against the steering wheel, as he clutched a handful of his thick locks, his knuckles turning an ashy white.
“Damn, Patrick. Okay, wait. Let’s just think about this. Look I need you to calm down and tell me exactly where you are. Now where are you, Pat?” The voice was commanding and in control, everything that Patrick didn’t feel like at that moment.
“Fuck, there’s a bunch a trees and green shit everywhere. Uh...I was um...on I think Jefferson road.”
“Okay, where on Jefferson road? Trees and greenery aren’t gonna cut it. Are there any signs or landmarks?”
Patrick pulled his head up slightly, just enough for him to peer over the wheel. His eyes roamed around the landscape, avoiding the dark and wet road infront of him. He might not be able to stomach it, if he saw it again at this moment.
Trees, trees, bushes, trees, dirt, and more fucking trees. “Shit, man I don’t know,” exclaimed Pat, his voice growing more frantic.
“Look, Pat, you got to calm down man. How long where you on Jefferson? Did you get on Jefferson from Main St. or Uphine Rd.?” asked Jay.
“Uphine Rd. Uh, shit. I dunno. Thirty, forty minutes.”
“Okay good.” The sound of a car starting and the radio blaring screamed through the phone, breaking the harsh silence for a brief moment, before the rap music was gone and the sound of the car running was only a gentle hum in the background. “Okay, now Pat, I need you to tell me what exactly happened. Don’t leave anything out. Everything is going to be fine.”
And for that brief moment, Pat was sure Jay was right. He sounded so sure.
Patrick dragged a hand down his face. His eyes darted to the ceiling of his car, to the woods, to the digital clock, and almost to dark road infront of him, but they never made it. Closing his eyes, Pat tried to calm down, but couldn’t.
“Fuck, I don’t know. I was just blasting the music and I just looked away for a second to switch the CD, and this fucking kid comes out of no where on a bike. I swear it was just a minute! Shit! What am I gonna do?!
He thought he might retch right there. If it had been anyone else, he would have called them a pansy, but it wasn’t. It happened to him. Right after getting a full-ride scholarship to Duke, to play football. Fuck. This was not how his life was suppose to turn out.



Chrissy Faye